Thoughts on the UC Police Shooting

The birth of my blog was influenced by my travels and my evolving perspectives based on experience. I am back home in Cincinnati and have witnessed a large amount of events surely to be written in future textbooks. Once I had returned to America, I did not feel the need to vocalize my experiences as they did not seem as flashy and exciting, yet sometimes the ugly nature of mankind needs to be addressed. That being said I have now broken my silence on this matter. Here are my thoughts regarding the University of Cincinnati Police Officer, Ray Tensing's fatal shooting of Sam Dubose.

Shock and disbelief were among my first thoughts once hearing of this event. I have been a UC student for the past 3 years and during my time living off campus I have never heard of such an injustice. I stayed off social media regarding the matter at the time, as I knew I would become frustrated by people's poorly researched opinion statuses. I watched the video in it's entirety and followed the news only informing myself of the basics.  When Tensing's indictment and the video were released to the public our UC President, Santa Ono, made the call to shutdown the university.  The city did not know what the public reaction would be, so the streets became patrolled by SWAT teams. All while Dubose's family pleaded no matter what the outcome of the ruling or what was seen on the video, to remain peaceful. Once Tensing was indicted for murder, I witnessed and online outrage from the UC and Cincinnati community. People were angry about what happened. They wanted answers. They wanted justice. The universal consensus was that Tensing was in the wrong for his actions.  The most common questions I had seen related to why Tensing felt the need to shoot an unarmed man who was pulled over for not having a front license plate. Why was this seen as a priority of a university police officer? When it came down to the bottom line, discrimination of race was the most accepted answer.

Today on my first day of classes one of my professors brought up this issue and invited the class to express their thoughts and emotions on the matter.  I was taken aback as this class was Visual Arts Education. My professor brought up the importance and the issues with race that are involved in the urban, low-income education field and that we as educators should work to ensure that every child has the same access to a quality public education. The first person to speak about Sam Dubose was a white female fine arts major in her final year of undergrad.  She explained how shocked she was at the matter, yet it did not feel real to her as she did not experience any of the events first hand as she was living in Denver at the time. The next student to speak was a white male fine arts student. He expressed shock as well since he knew Ray Tensing and he "seemed like a normal guy." He further explained how he has several friends in the UC and Cincinnati police force.  Our professor noted how it's interesting how one action can label a human being. Such as since Tensing shot and killed a man he was deemed evil in all of his actions.  She then turned to a African American male student in the room asking him if his race came into play into any discriminatory event in his life. He said he accepted it as it is and tries to live in life without it getting in his way, he's accepting of being labeled the "token black kid." He wants to live the same life as anyone else. He also briefly noted that he, himself was followed by a UCPD officer from campus to his home off campus in an act of racial profiling. He then expressed his frustrations in the shooting, as he personally knew Sam Dubose.  The room filled with a tension in the air as if there was a pitting against the student who knows Tensing and the student who knew Dubose.

Our professor then took us to The Philip M. Meyers Jr. Gallery on Mainstreet, UC campus. The exhibit was titled drawn and described as "A space dedicated to the students, faculty and staff of the University of Cincinnati to draw together in the wake of the shooting death of Samuel Dubose." The room was covered in black vinyl chalkboard sheets with chalk encouraging students, faculty, and staff to express thoughts. Thoughts sparked by hanging banners with news lines regarding the matter, each banner was black on one side and white on the other. In the center of the room were chairs placed in a circle allowing for conversation, as well as texts regarding racial profiling and the justice system. To say this exhibit was emotional would be an understatement. Reading these handwritten thoughts and made everything seem so much more real than a standard news article.  A quote that caught my eye was, "I don't want to be another hashtag because the color of my skin and the stereotypes associated with it," which referred to the popular hashtag #BlackLivesMatter. Another interesting quote was, "If you ever wondered what it would be like to live in the civil rights movement and what role you would play, you are right now." More included, "Don't stop asking questions!" and "Why is there a default response to blame the victim?" The distraught transcended immensely through each and every statement written on those walls. It was clear that no one was in any way happy with this matter.

What I saw next changed my perspectives of human nature. I had a preconception that humankind was not exactly good, in fact I believed we are cruel. Yet, after today that changed.  I looked outside the window of the gallery and saw the two men who knew Dubose and Tensing conversing.  They seemed to be in the middle of a discussion, yet in no way an argumentative manner.  As I observed the conversation, it transitioned into a friendly manner and the two were smiling and laughing by the end. I was truly amazed by this exchange, I'm pretty sure that half of the class was expecting an outburst from the two students.  Seeing my fellow classmates come together to form a common ground from this situation made the event more real and solvable.  In Cincinnati and at UC we are a community. Events like this should in no way drive us apart.  The 'writing on the wall' analogy came to mind when viewing drawn. It cannot be ignored no matter what may try to cover it up. We are experiencing history our children will be reading about in textbooks. Education should be implemented now more than ever. Educate yourself on both sides of the matter. Try to understand your privilege or lack thereof based on the color of your skin.  Look to the future, yet don't forget the past to recognize our culture.  Make educated decisions when it comes to the next step to reform issues regarding racial profiling in the justice system. Everything is not what it seems. Digging deeper rather than only observing what is on the surface is the answer.

St. Patrick's Day in IRELAND

St. Patrick's Day in Ireland is about a week long celebration. Don't let anyone in the States fool you, it is definitely isn't an Americanized celebration.  St. Patrick is actually an extremely celebrated figure in Ireland, with several cathedrals and monuments named after him. In my Irish art history class he comes up in artwork on several occasions.

Sam and myself started the celebrations on the Friday with a traditional St. Paddy's day pub crawl, which ended up being one of the most fun nights out I've ever had. I was skeptical at first for having to pay for a ticket to essentially follow a group around, yet it included a fair amount of drinks! Our night ranged from traditional pubs and worked their way up to bars with dancefloors. I ran into some friends at the time too! It was such a wonderful night.

Jessica!

Sam and I forever silly

Next on our St. Patrick's Celebrations included the Cork City annual parade. The weather was lovely, which was basically unheard of given the current rainy season. Sean the local butcher told me it was the first rainless St. Patrick's Day in 10 years! After a morning filled with Irish breakfast and us poorly singing traditional music, we headed down to the parade, which drew the biggest crowd I had ever seen in Cork. The food vendors weren't only just random street food vendors, but also from the local restaurants.  There was definitely a large authentic feel to this celebration. We had debated to taking a bus up to Dublin for the day to participate in those celebrations, yet we decided not as it was one of the biggest tourist magnets of the year. We definitely enjoyed the authenticity way more.

We all took a long nap after stuffing ourselves with street food and spending the majority of the day in the city centre.  We all sat at the kitchen table trying to pump ourselves back up in order to spend the night on the town. It was such a silly situation as were so disoriented from how hard we slept. We later went out to our usual bars and danced the night away. It indeed was a St. Patrick's day to remember.

The best roommates a girl could ask for!

I HELD A BABY SHEEP

The Ring of Kerry is a common tourist route along the Kerry peninsula. Two of my roommates joined me on this heavily packed weekend trip filled with drool-worthy food, picturesque landscapes, as well as baby farm animals which almost brought me to tears. This trip essentially consisted of a long bus ride along the coast of County Kerry filled with stops where we got the freedom to wander and to admire the expansive beauty.

The first day was insanely packed full of locations including the Valentia Island, Geoghan Mt & Fogher Cliffs, Killarney National Park and Skellig Experience Centre. As I'm reflecting to myself as to what to describe at each place I can't particularly chose the right words in terms of how to describe these experiences. The majority of the time was spent just taking in the vast beauty of these locations. In particular the Fogher Cliffs captivated me the most as it just gave me such a strong sense of awe. I swore I could spend the entire day just staring and walking along this area. It was a peaceful experience even though I was easily with 50 other students. The landscape was so vast it felt as if my mind could easily escape. 

I thoroughly enjoy petting animals, it is pretty much a hobby for me at this point. Just ask any of my friends, it's a low-key issue. I can barely walk down the street without stopping people to ask to pet their dogs. I got to see and pet baby cows and sheep! They bred for milking purposes, so I could rest easily at night knowing they weren't going to the butcher shop anytime soon. It was interesting listening to the farmers about the dairy and meat industry in Ireland. Apparently it was recently approved for Irish to export dairy and meat to the United States. The family I talked to was part of a family business, yet it's common in Co. Kerry to raise animals as a hobby. 

The second part of this trip was full of silliness with Sam and Katie. I don't know what was in the water in Kerry, but it inclined us to take a variety of ridiculous photos with Cahergal Stone Fort and Ballycarbery Castle. The stone fort and Castle was more adventurous as we go to climb up and down these structures, allowing for *gasp* MORE breathtaking views. It was more than fun as there wasn't really any boundaries as to what we could climb. It was a bit different than the usual structural barriers and confines of structures in the States. It was truly an adventure!

                            

Cahergal Stone Circle

I don't know why I have two water bottles.

Ballycarbery Castle

Exploring the Castle

This was the last trip I got to experience with my roommates. It was bittersweet in a way, as all we had known up to that point was how to travel with each other. Soon we all would be traveling with others or by ourselves. This trip in a way marked the halfway point through my time in Ireland. Time was moving so fast. It was scary in a sense, yet also gave incentive to treat the remaining time as precious. 

Castles and Archaeology...Excuse Me While I Nerd-Out.

The first weekend in February I traveled around the West Cork with my Irish Archaeology class. It was a great experience to get to travel around County Cork, as I had only spent time in the city up to that point.  First of all County Cork is beautifully diverse, traveling all around gives you a little taste of several environments ranging from bustling city to quiet countryside.

The first visit required the most imagination, as it was an archaeological site that didn't have many visible remains. It was a ringfort of a well-off farmer or an elitist which was typical during the Early Medieval period in Ireland. All that had remained was a large circular patch of lush green grass along with two deep circular trench-like ditches surrounding that area.

Here's an idea of the spacing of the trenches of Garranges Ring Fort

Our next stop was Ballinacarriga Tower House. They were a simplistic castle type built in the 15th century, which is notably less elaborate than previous Irish castles in the 13th century. Why? The Anglo-Normans! Castles transitioned to purely defensive structures in the 1600s.  Windows were smaller and high from the ground, while the steps of staircases varied in heights to trip invaders. These staircases were indeed, my one true enemy.

Ballinacarriga Tower House and the stairs of DEATH.

Our third stop was a fortified house structure from the 1600s called Coppinger's Castle. These were typical of the time where there wasn't much use for defensive structures, as the time of warfare was sparse. We weren't allowed to get too close or go inside this structure, as it was severely unstable. Yet, it was quite grand to be able to see a structure from the past 500 years. 

Coppinger's Castle and me looking at cows.

My favorite of all of these locations was the Drombeg Stone Circle. It is absolutely beautiful and picturesque. I actually wrote a case study for this class analyzing its possible meanings, as it is surrounded with mystery.  Many believe stone circles were places of gathering for a variety of possible purposes. There was other subsites within the site including a well and a cooking area.  It is extremely rare to see stone circles in the southern part of Ireland, as they typically litter the north and parts of England and Scotland. 

Drombeg Stone Circle

Drombeg Cooking Site

Drombeg Well within Cooking Site

The amazing coastal view from Drombeg!

While finishing our journey, we traveled to the Rock of Cashel, a large heritage site in Ireland. It's famous for it being the site of the conversion of the King of Munster by St. Patrick in the 5th Century.  Yet, few buildings on this site remain from the 5th century, many ranging from the 12th to 13th centuries.  This site sits atop a large hill for defensive purposes, yet remains expensive and fills one with a sensation of the sublime upon viewing.  

The Rock of Cashel!

Inside and the view from the outside, including St. Patrick's cross.

Sick + Travel = :(

Hello all,

I greatly apologize for my absence this past month.  I have unfortunately been battling a wide variety of illness and at the present moment I am still not at my 100%.  It's sometimes difficult for me to talk about my health in general, thus I usually hide away in my thoughts writing down everything in my journal. It feels burdening if I unload all of the emotional distress involving my health upon people.  The details following are extremely personal, yet it feels good to express my thoughts in words not redistricted only to my eyes.

This past August I faced a variety of health problems involving my stomach. Doctors are still not entirely sure what is exactly wrong with me. I first encountered sharp pains in my stomach along with intense burning pains from acid reflux. The pain was debilitating as it was almost impossible for me to eat or drink.  My body would immediately reject whatever I put into my system.  It got to the point where I was so dehydrated I was sent to the ER on several occasions. Trips would include attempting to treat my pain, IV fluids, as well as endless tests to figure out what was causing this situation.  I endured X-rays, CT scans, and Ultrasounds looking at my organs. It eventually got to the point where an endoscopy was required where they stuck a tube with a camera down my esophagus to get a good look at my stomach.

In the end they never found anything problematic. My stomach lining was irritated due to the coloring, yet the cause is currently unknown. At the moment I have been diagnosed with Gastritis and Acid Reflux, which relate to gastroesophageal reflux disease(GERD).  Ever since this time I have experienced what my doctor calls as 'flare ups,' where I experience short bouts of severe pain. They believe this pain is caused by certain food or drink put into my body. At the moment my diet restricts acidic, spicy, greasy foods as well as caffeine, nicotine and alcohol.  This diet is difficult but worth it to avoid pain. Though sometimes it is hard to pinpoint exactly what the cause of the pain is. This past month apart from trying to go to class and travel, I would lay in my bed curled up wishing the pain away.

The plan when I get home is to see an internist, a doctor who specializes in internal disease diagnosis. I want to get to the bottom of this. It was my Dad's idea to start there rather than rush to a Gastroenterologist.  I hate altering my life around my illness, yet it is sometimes inevitable.  I'm so thankful for my family and friends who have supported me extensively through my journey. I could not have kept my sanity without you.  In the meantime I will update more frequently with some of my experiences that occurred this past month and try my best to stick with the weekly post in the future!

West Coast Ireland Adventures

This past weekend I participated in my first trip to another city in Ireland called Galway.  My roommates Sam and Katie, as well as myself, took about a three hour bus ride from Cork to Galway and it dropped us off right in the middle of the city centre. Our first stop was at the Salmon Weir Hostel. I was a bit weary about staying in a hostel in the first place because all I had heard from friends were horror stories.  The hostel we stayed at turned out to be wonderful as it had a very homey vibe.  Everyone was super friendly and I got to hear some great travel stories and advice. I'm going to partially going to debunk this issue. The quality of hostel's are completely dependent in the country and city in which you are staying. Ireland is considered one of the safest countries in Europe, even in their most touristy cities. Before you book a hostel do your research by reading the reviews and always lock your belongings in lockers.

Salmon Weir Hostel

It's not that bad!

 We wandered for a few hours and I got the feeling it was a largely touristy city.  Compared to Cork it felt a bit out of my comfort zone, as everyone on the streets was trying to sell me something. I found myself longing for the Cork atmosphere. For the remainder of the evening we listened to local music at one of the pubs then decided to call it a night. The next day we decided to head out of Galway and to some of the impeccable scenery in the surrounding area. I was initially against it but I took a tour bus around a loop of notable places within 2 hours of Galway. I usually like to explore on my own but it was only 16 euro and we were just dropped off at the locations and we got to have free time to ourselves.

Firstly we drove through an area called The Burren.  I had no previous knowledge of the area and was utterly shocked to see the incredible landscapes of thousands of flat limestone scattered through the plains. Some even covered hills in the distance.  I wanted to stay longer than I did, but there was heavy wind in which I did not preparedly dress myself for. At least I got to see the Poulnabrone Portal Tomb!

The Burren

Polnabrone Portal Tomb

Next I visited the Cliffs of Moher, which I recommend everyone to see before they die. I cannot put into words how utter breathtaking it was to see something like this.  The cliffs are so monstrous that one comparatively feels so small.  I was rendered speechless as I hiked the trail on the edge of the cliffs, which continued for several kilometers. I found my experience to be quite special as I experienced several types of weather in the 2 hours I was there. At first I was a bit disappointed because there was a misty type of rain occurring, as well as tremendous amounts of fog. There was heavy wind constantly, so much that I thought I was going to blow off the edge.  It was oddly mystifying and eerie to view. Thankfully the sun came out and the fog drifted away making the sea a bit more blue and allowing the cliffs to look larger than I thought!

Crazy winds and foggy cliffs

Everything is revealed, photos don't do it justice!

Finally we concluded our journey through the village of Doolin where I go to have traditional Irish seafood chowder.  We then all traveled back to Cork to prepare for the upcoming school week.  I never knew how much Ireland truly has to offer.  When I initially went through my search for schools in which to study abroad, Cork happened to be my third choice.  Yet there is still so much that I have not seen and that I look forward to experiencing in my remaining time here.  Cheers!

First Week of Irish Class....and Culture

Adjusting to the lifestyle of the Irish is most likely the easiest thing I have ever done. Let's put it this way; I would not be even the slightest bit upset if I lived here the remainder of my life. Before you jump to the conclusion that I am crazy for wanting to live in one of the most rainy places in the world, hear me out as I break down how I've fell in love with this city.

1. It does NOT rain every day, maybe twice a week at the most, but it's still January! The sun is out on most days and it may be a bit wet outside, but it's not as unbearable as people make it seem. Plus it even snowed here last week, which is basically unheard of.  The Irish were freaking out. If you don't believe me, check out this link. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbkOwoZLey0

Even with the snow, it's still beautifully green.

2. The lifestyle is a lot more relaxed and less of the hustle and bustle nature of America.  Here people work to live, not live to work.  I'm guessing the lacking of a tense atmosphere allows for everyone to be so friendly.  The Irish are some of the nicest people you will ever meet.  Many are more than happy to point you in the right direction if you're lost and they'll even throw in a suggestion of a good place to eat or drink.  The Irish take pride in who they are as a culture as most of the businesses are local and family owned.  I've made friends with the local produce owner and butcher already, as well as stumbled upon my new favorite brewery, Franciscan Well, brewed right here in Cork!

My favorite is the Friar Weisse!

3. I don't know if this speaks for the entirety of Irish education, but the courses at University College Cork are a lot more relaxed than at the University of Cincinnati.  Brace yourself to be ridden with jealousy as I tell you the details. Firstly, homework pretty much doesn't exist.  Courses, or what the Irish call modules, consist of a final exam and a paper/project.  This places a lot more emphasis on the importance of lecture material and emphasis on attending class.  The professors are extremely nice and always willing to help with understanding the material.

Me right before my first class at UCC!

4. Going out to the local pub for casual drinks and live music occurs pretty much every night.  Irish students usually tend to go out on the week nights and visit home on the weekends.  This pretty much allows for never a dull moment.  I think I've already made my point on how nice people are here, but you can sit down with anyone and engage in friendly conversation.  The live music is my favorite part.  The music ranges from cover bands, to indie bands, to traditional Irish bands.  All are so fun to listen to, so much better than the whole DJ movement. 

Local traditional Irish music every Monday at Abbey Tavern.

Cork is a phenomenal city and widely unknown to most Americans.  Usually the only city that comes to mind when thinking of Ireland is Dublin, well for me it was.  The city of Cork is actually the second largest in Ireland! I'm so excited to explore the entirety of Ireland and learn as much about the culture as possible.

The Study Abroad Emotional Curve

My first week in Ireland was filled with ups and downs with adventures I'd never even dreamed of experiencing.  Prior to my departure, my study abroad adviser informed me a chart titled "The Study Abroad Emotional Curve." This helps the student aware of the upcoming emotions that are affixed to studying abroad. 

I did not think too much into it at first, as I had a billion other things on my mind.  When I look back on it, I most likely experienced the entire emotional curve within 24 hours. My Departure from the United States was anything but smooth. Firstly, the goodbye to my friends, family and boyfriend was a lot more emotionally draining than I expected.  Long story short, lots of tears were shed.

My first flight to O'Hare was delayed to the point where I missed my second flight to Heathrow.  My only options were to fly standby on another fully booked flight or to wait until the next scheduled flight at 4pm the next day.  I in no way shape or form wanted to spend the night laying on uncomfortable airport chairs.  Thankfully, in the final minutes of boarding, United was able to get me on the flight.

By the time I got to Ireland I was excited for things to finally go smoothly, but I hit another road bump when the airline lost my luggage. I tried to push all of the negativity aside, falling in love with the beauty of Ireland and enjoyed pleasant conversation with my cab driver.  When I got to my apartment I briefly met my roommates and went straight to bed.  Even though everything was fine and I had arrived in Ireland safely, I just wanted to feel comfortable, yet all I knew was that I didn't even have a change of clothes for the night, I barely knew anyone here, and I didn't even know where anything was in this strange city. What really put me over the edge was when I drank a glass of water, my body completely rejected it. So now on top of everything I was sick. I Facebook messaged my family, friends, and boyfriend feeling pathetic not being excited being in a new country. They managed to calm me down enough to fall asleep for the night, but it was still such a frightening emotion.

So here's the ugly truth: traveling is not as fun as it looks, but once you get to your destination things get better. Studying abroad puts you completely out of your comfort zone and it's hard to get used to things. Yet, having a positive attitude makes all of a difference. One of my friends gave me a good piece of advice in the midst of all of the craziness, "The worst traveling always results in the best trips." The next morning when I woke up, my roommates and I attended our orientation for University College Cork and my outlook changed completely.  My roommates were in exactly the same situation I was, so I didn't quite feel so alone after that. We went to traditional Irish pubs, met new people, and experienced the culture! Ever since then everything has turned around for me and I'm so excited for the remainder of this experience!!

University College Cork (Hogwarts?)

So official

Guinness in Ireland

My lovely Roommates!